I can honestly say the devil has been winning over me this week. My kids are sick, my husband has worked a ton of overtime which means I have been home for the third day in a row alone with the kids, our pastor that we love so much has resigned, I didn’t get a scholarship to attend a big writing conference and therefore will most likely not be going (though I am going to another one and am very excited), our adoption of our foster babies has hit yet another snag and I can no longer see the finish line that I thought was so close, our camper is leaking which needs money that we don’t have to repair it, finances are depleted, and I feel completely defeated about my writing. Questions like why even try writing? you stink anyway, and why don’t you get a real job that actually pays you money for bills? keep reverberating. I am a seriously private person when it comes to personal issues, and I do not whine or complain, (and the point is not to gain sympathy), so sharing this with you is a challenge. But, I know we are all facing struggles and I want to encourage both myself and you. I sent a message to my cousin just day before yesterday to encourage her, and now I need it for myself: Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”–NIV. Now, I usually refer to KJV, but this time NIV says exactly what I needed it to say. His grand plan for us is always good. We just have to keep listening to Him and trust what He tells us to do. I am scared about the future because I feel like we are drowning financially, BUT I trust Him to provide. I am scared about my writing because I worry no one will ever publish it, BUT I trust Him to find the proper home for it. I am scared about losing the babies, BUT I trust God to keep them safe. I am scared about losing friends at my church, BUT I trust God to keep us bonded and close. I am scared that not getting the scholarship to attend the big conference is a way of telling me I should just give up, BUT I trust what God has put in my heart is real and that He wants me to write. I am scared that the camper will be ruined before we can fix it, BUT I trust if that happens it is for a reason. What is it that you are facing? What is it you fear?
God is leading my family somewhere. I don’t know where we are headed yet, but I do know I can look back over the last almost 12 years of marriage and children and see the milestones God has gotten us over, around, under, and through. He has not one time failed me! And he won’t start now! His plan for me, for us, is still good! In the famous words of Dorie, “Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming.” I will keep “swimming”, walking, writing, hoping, persevering, going FOR GOD and I will NOT let the devil win this battle! I hope you won’t either.
(Picture taken by me at Biltmore in Asheville, NC)